(Chorus)
It’s the not knowing where it will all end
It’s the not knowing where it will all end

There’s a red that means green
Green means blue
Blue means pink and black
Black and blue mean yellow
And brown and purple
And orange means white

Chorus

What was THAT? What WAS that?
WHAT was that?
What was THAT? What WAS that?
WHAT was that?
One hand points a finger
On the other hand there’s a fist

Chorus

What was THAT? What WAS that?
WHAT was that?
What was THAT? What WAS that?
WHAT was that?

© Simon Charterton 2006

Strip by strip
Disguises slip
Down below the belt
Shooting from the hip

Read from the lips
The smile paint drips
Sweet as toffee apples
Squeezing out the pips

(Chorus 1)
Like a squeak and a squawk
The eggshell walk
Step on a crack
Risk a counter attack
Like cheese and chalk
The eggshell walk
Cover up the back
Avoiding all the flack

Fated to fail
Chasing the grail
Holding up the hammer
Never driving in the nail

In styrofoam snow
Beneath the mistletoe
Reaching out for kisses
Without landing a blow

(Chorus 2)
Like a knife and a fork
The eggshell walk
Chewing the fat
Reducing it to chit-chat
Like baby talk
The eggshell walk
Missing out on combat
Like a true diplomat

Securing release
Maintaining the peace
Balancing the scales
So the odds don’t increase

A wasted wordsmith
Leaving on the pith
Covering up the core
Ravelling up the myth

(Chorus 3)
Like a bottle and a cork
The eggshell walk
A secret pact
Where opposites distract
Like a deer and a stalk
The eggshell walk
Keeping it intact
Watching it get whacked

© Simon Charterton 2006

On packets, on bottles
Label letters so small
Need shrunken eyes to read
Decipher then recall

Painted on my penis
Tattooed inside my cheek
Welded to my forehead
Cueing me when to speak

Embedded in my arms
Wrapped around my right wrist
See it when I’m smoking
And when I’m getting pissed

Swinging from the rooftops
Singing down from the trees
ID climate terror
Cancer fear disease

Every cow every sheep
Every pig every bird
Sentenced to tongue lashing
Hanging on every word

Village idiot savant
Obscene but not absurd
Handing out a warning…

Danger of death
Danger of death
Danger of death

© Simon Charterton 2006

There was a cat called Bat and a mouse called House. They lived in a caravan called Stan.

Bat chased House around Stan all day and night until every morning at four, they stopped to watch telly, BBC News 24.

A serious debate followed, House usually winning by sheer persistence because Bat wasn’t good at maintaining a line of logical argument.

When chasing restarted, Bat was always fired up with anger at being defeated in discussion and lashed out viciously at House.

This often inflicted damage on Stan who couldn’t help being the caravan in which they lived.

On several occasions Stan decided he’d had enough and asked them to leave.

They refused to go, both seeing Stan as their natural home.

They’re still at it.

Now Stan’s thinking of putting himself on the market.

Several people have expressed interest in helping Stan do himself up to achieve a better price.

Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen has even popped by.

One company looks like winning the contract though, a company called Bathouse.

It’s a subsidiary of a bigger company.

That one’s called Housebat.

© Simon Charterton 2006

I heard it was you
Shooting your mouth off
So you’ve been at it again

What pearl of wisdom
Was it this time?

Just because you can talk
It doesn’t mean you have anything much to say
But you go and say it anyway

Do you think it through
Before starting to speak
Or is it a torrent of words?

Would a pause for thought
Be an alien concept?

It’s so very easy
You only have to open up your mouth
For it all to come tumbling out

You don’t have a clue
Words have meanings
You don’t know what you’re bleating about

You will have to claim
You were misquoted

Celebrity status
Doesn’t lend your opinion any gravitas
You’re still talking out of your arse

Next time why don’t you
Exercise total restraint

© Simon Charterton 2006